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Entering... The 4th Decade

·3 mins
Personal Growth Mindset Leadership
On a boat with my amazing mother

There’s too much to talk about, so let me begin.

The actuality of being born out of nothingness and to experience being conscious is, to be honest, beyond words.

Ever since I was born, I’ve been fascinated with this miraculous mystery we like to call “the experience of being alive”.

And for the majority of my life, I’ve been feeling alienated, as the “fascinated by the miraculous mystery of the experience of being alive club” seemed to be quite small.

Yes, the main theme of my twenties was disconnection.

  • Disconnected from other people, as I figured I did not relate.
  • Disconnected from society and “the world” as a whole, as I figured I did not belong.
  • Disconnected from myself, as I figured I’m the odd one out, so why even bother considering I’m worthy of anything.

And yet, things shift. And it is with enormous gratitude and excitement that I’m entering the fourth decade of existing in this body and mind.

Yes, things have been shifting. I have been shifting.

In the last year alone, I’ve started music school, started a new job with a lovely team of colleagues, chose a healthy work/life balance, got a new guitar, got connected to lots of amazing people, enriched my life massively in the transformational leadership training of IGL, got to see the band come out of the slumps and push it to the next level with a new album in the making, started my business, started a new sport, did acting workshops, started learning to read music, experienced some amazing musical concerts, did gigs myself, had the opportunity to mean something to other people, and much more.

How rich my life has been in the last year is truly amazing.

And it is not that anything outside of me changed, it’s something inside of me that changed.

I’ve come to realize that no matter if I want it or not, the way I am and show up to the day has an impact to everyone and everything around me.

Thinking I have nothing to offer, thinking the world is an ugly place, thinking I’m a misanthrope, believing humanity is full of evil, …

Those thoughts, irrespective of being true or false, are not innocent thoughts. They have huge and direct consequences in who I am being, and impact every person I meet.

My judgement and disconnect of others isn’t harmless.. With them, I actively create more disconnect, misunderstanding, closed mindedness, … All those things I dread to see in the world!

Now, the reason I’m excited for my fourth decade, is because I’m entering it with this new awareness.

What do I really want to see in the world?

It’s connection, love, joy, passion, care, excitement, openness, honesty, vulnerability.

So that’s who I’m committed to be.